Keeping busy

The past week or so I have been keeping in good spirits and doing what I can to get better. So daily exercises and stretches have progressed a little more, which is great. I feel a bit stronger every day, although I still have pain in my hip and leg from the bulges pushing on nerves. But it will get there. I just have to keep believing, as nearly everyone in my life keeps reminding me. I like the reminders, because it is really easy to fall into a downward slump. They keep me going when I feel like I will never get better. And they make me laugh when I want to cry. So thank you to the people who care enough to tell me what I need to hear and not always what I want to hear.

In other news, I have finished both the story board, and the first rough draft of my children's book and have the first page of the second draft done. I also got one of my nephews to read the rough draft. He is nearly 12 (one week until his birthday) and this past week had March break. I got him for a day to help me run errands (he carried everything for me). So he read it, with only a little difficulty due to my penmanship (I am blaming the pencil smudging), and actually liked it. He also thinks that his little sister would love it! So positive feed back already has really boosted my attitude towards writing and drawing this book. It would be awesome to have it published one day, but even if I only end up finishing it and making a couple copies for family or friends, I think it will be worth it.

"Boy, I got vision, and the rest of the world wears bifocals." Butch Cassidy Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

And So It Continues

Physio and now physical rehab are starting to be my new norms. Last week was the first week with the physical rehab, and it pushed me to a point I hadn't been in a long time. I was glad for being pushed, but also worried about the pain that could come with it. But I am starting to deal with my mental weakness, while strengthening my physical weakness. Bought a couple tools to help with the process. A larger exercise ball to work on the core stabilization techniques, and strength training bands to work on the hips, legs, and core as well. I like the ball exercises. They seem simple and easy at first, but I feel it after the first few minutes pass. Which is good. It means that my body is still working and trying to improve. The squats are probably the hardest part for me. Since I grew up being a goalie for quite a few years (like a decade), my body has a predisposition to move in certain ways. My rehab coach I guess you would call him pointed out the flaws in how I was squatting today. He told me the way I was doing them made me look like a goalie, which I told him I was. He said that explained a lot then, and told me I would have to focus just that much more to do them properly.

Other than the exercises I do, I have a lot of free time on my hands right now. I spend it mostly listening to music, watching movies/TV shows, or just browsing the internet. BUT I decided since I have started to physically and mentally feel better, I would do something to help continue that good progress. So I started to draw one of the children's books that I have wanted to make for a long time. I am going to collaborate with one of my friends who I think is very talented with drawing and colouring to help me polish up the images and figure out a colour scheme to go with. I only started it yesterday, but I am happy with how I have progressed with it. Who knows, one day maybe my niece and nephews will have an aunt that writes stories that they read in school. That would be really cool. But that is also getting way a head of myself. First I have to finish the story.

"Weakness compels strength. Betrayal begets blood. This is the law of the Nine Clans." - Ozunu Ninja Assassin

Healing?

I have heard people say the phrases like 'No Pain No Gain' and 'Feel The Burn' when talking about working out and getting healthy. But then there is also two types of pain. The pain of tired muscles from a good work out, and the flip side is the pain of hurting your body from pushing too far. That is always the pain you want to avoid, but sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between the two. I had physio of Friday, and then a physical therapy appointment right after. So going from two months of very limited movements, and then to an hour of physical strain was quite a lot for me. And my body is telling me so. This morning after getting up and rinsing my face, my left side from my waist down kind of collapsed on itself. No real harm done. Icing it now, but it was scary seeing myself in the mirror nearly collapsing into the counter/sink, and see the fear in my own eyes.


So what do I learn from this? I learn that I need to take things a lot slower. I still have to push myself, but also have to listen to my body more. Maybe I shouldn't have sat in certain ways the day before, or made sure my leg was propped up better while I slept, or a whole slew of other little things. Literally every move I make now has to be thought out before I even make it or I could easily get worse again. Thankfully I trust fully in the people I am working with to get my strength back. But it will take time, which is the biggest pill to swallow. I'm not the patient type, so it is frustrating that my body won't heal fast. Just breath right?


"Death smiles at us all, but all a man can do is smile back." - Marcus Aurelius

Back...

...Pain.

For those of you who follow my blog, but don't know me personally, I will catch you up on what my has been going on the past eight months or so.

Last summer I spent a month out west visiting my sister. While there, I ended up causing myself back issues. Being stubborn and thinking it would get better on its own, I didn't take time off from work, and I only went to my doctor about two months after it initially happened. Fast forward a month or two later, I had my first MRI which showed herniation on three of my lower discs. Christmas season at work ramps up, and my back grows steadily worse. I decide to take time off after Christmas to let my back get better. Within the first week I take off, my back worsens to the extent I end up in the emergency room twice in one day. First time was for the pain and spasming. The second time was the same, but I ended up going into a bit of shock from the pain, loss of hearing, blurred vision, hyperventilating. Thankfully my mom was there to catch me and get me back on the couch where I had just stood up from. Paramedics arrived and I got my first (and hopefully only) ride in an ambulance. A month or so after that, second MRI is taken, and shows that my slight herniation's are no longer just slight. Using a walker for a month or so, and a cane the past few weeks, I have started to make progress in the right direction. I have a back brace, but have been advised to only use it in situations like driving (which I have now been doing for the past two weeks to and from all my doctor and physio appointments), or lifting (which I can't attempt yet). As my physiotherapist says, I am progressing as slow as molasses, but it's still miles better then where I started.

So that is the basic gist of what has been happening in my life. My one sister thought it might be a good idea that I chronicle my journey of healing. I think it's a good idea, although I am kind of embarrassed to disclose things like how much weight or inches I lose while trying to get healthy in all aspects of my life. We will see how comfortable I am with it as time goes on.

My next post will probably be over the weekend, and I will discuss more about the exercises and stretches that I have been given to try and strengthen my core/back.

With that I will leave you with a quote from a movie I have watched this past week.

"If something should happen... maybe I never said this enough. I love all of you." Russell Hammond Almost Famous