I won't get into specifics for obvious reasons, but my first week at my new job is over. And I embraced the weekend like a kid does. A little bit of junk food, a lot of watching twitch, and some gaming, plus super late nights. It was a glorious weekend but also probably not the best way to spend my time.
So work was not super rough. The first day my desk hadn't been set up so I job shadowed another person in my team. She was nice and after a few hours of watching and taking notes, I was given the chance to try out the systems. I took it slow, and asked questions, and got the hang of it after a while. By the end of the day I had a few systems set up on my computer and was able to continue the work at my own desk. My cubicle neighbour is now my go to for all my questions, and each day I have been bugging her less and less. I think I am doing alright, and will be interested to hear what my boss has to say when she does her performance review with me.
So all in all, I am glad to be working again, even if the work is repetitive I know I will still try and do my best to make the company proud of hiring me.
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." - Christian Moulin Rouge!
Sunday 19 July 2015
Saturday 11 July 2015
Nerves of Steel?
As some of you know, I no longer am working at Michaels. With my back being what it is, I decided that it would be the best to leave and pursue a job/career where I couldn't potentially make it worse.
So I applied to a mortgage company for back office work. And got it. So I start this coming week and am a bundle of nerves. This past week, I have basically wanted to get on a sleeping pattern and get into a schedule that would be beneficial for the new office job. Unfortunately, my mind set was more like that this was the last week of summer break before school starts up. So I was up late every night watching movies or playing games, yet I would still wake up when my alarm would go off, but sometimes hit snooze way too much. I did do my laundry and get that in order for next week. It is just so weird to be going from something I did for so long to something brand new. I am excited and scared and ready to learn. Fingers crossed I don't flub up too badly.
"You already know the ending to this story. You can only draw it so many ways." - Henry Carver Push
So I applied to a mortgage company for back office work. And got it. So I start this coming week and am a bundle of nerves. This past week, I have basically wanted to get on a sleeping pattern and get into a schedule that would be beneficial for the new office job. Unfortunately, my mind set was more like that this was the last week of summer break before school starts up. So I was up late every night watching movies or playing games, yet I would still wake up when my alarm would go off, but sometimes hit snooze way too much. I did do my laundry and get that in order for next week. It is just so weird to be going from something I did for so long to something brand new. I am excited and scared and ready to learn. Fingers crossed I don't flub up too badly.
"You already know the ending to this story. You can only draw it so many ways." - Henry Carver Push
Sunday 28 June 2015
Writing
I was thinking that I have talked a bit about the children's book I have been writing, but nothing really in depth about it. This post will hopefully shed a little more light on it.
With my back issues I haven't been able to work since January, and being stuck in a house for most of that time got me thinking. I have always wanted to pursue a career in writing, but have never been able to finish any of the novels I have started. So I got to thinking that I should try something on a less epic scale; I can build up to the ability that J.K. Rowling or John Green has; I don't have to be them now, but it will be the goal line in the future that I strive towards.
Now I am not saying a children's book is simple. It's not. You have to come up with a story that has a morale or lesson to it, that can be told in simple enough words and terms that children will be able to read it. But you don't want to make it limited by the terminology either; that would cause it to not be able to reach a larger audience in people of all ages. You need to find something that means a lot to you and then figure out how to use abstract characters to bring that concept to life.
You also need to think about the style of artwork you want. Do you want something bright and simple flowing, or a little more realistic and detailed. Or do you go with a mix of the two. Then there is the choice, do I try to illustrate it myself or do I find an artist to work with. If you go with an artist, you will still want to do simple mock ups of the kind of imagery that you want to use.
Once you figure out the kind of story and kind of images you want, then it comes to putting it all together. Draft after draft. You start out with the simple sketches and rough words in your story board and make them a bit bigger, a bit more polished. Then the draft where it is closer to the finished size you want, and then add in the colour to the pictures. Trying different colour schemes or placements for the images. Then printing a copy. That is when you get excited but also a little disappointed (in my experience). Everyone always says you are your own worst critic. And I believe that. I saw my book printed and all I could see were the flaws. That is when I decided to try harder.
For me, I wrote and illustrated my book. I got input from others along the way, but the final product on the page is all my own doing. No one else to push blame on. So instead of coming up with an excuse and do what is easy, I worked on the writing, and then redrew and altered each page slightly. It was hard. The way I sit to draw doesn't help my back, but I will do what I need to to make my dream happen. Now the final stage that I have to do is the colouring.
But here. A look at the cover before I colour it.
I know I may never be successful in the is career path, but I know one thing for sure. I want to give my nieces and nephews books that have meaning. I want to show them that trying for a dream is not silly, as long as you know it will be hard and are willing to face each obstacle as they come, you will achieve your dream. Maybe not the way you were hoping or expecting, but definitely in a way that means something.
" It ain't about how hard you're hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!" - Rocky Rocky Balboa
With my back issues I haven't been able to work since January, and being stuck in a house for most of that time got me thinking. I have always wanted to pursue a career in writing, but have never been able to finish any of the novels I have started. So I got to thinking that I should try something on a less epic scale; I can build up to the ability that J.K. Rowling or John Green has; I don't have to be them now, but it will be the goal line in the future that I strive towards.
Now I am not saying a children's book is simple. It's not. You have to come up with a story that has a morale or lesson to it, that can be told in simple enough words and terms that children will be able to read it. But you don't want to make it limited by the terminology either; that would cause it to not be able to reach a larger audience in people of all ages. You need to find something that means a lot to you and then figure out how to use abstract characters to bring that concept to life.
You also need to think about the style of artwork you want. Do you want something bright and simple flowing, or a little more realistic and detailed. Or do you go with a mix of the two. Then there is the choice, do I try to illustrate it myself or do I find an artist to work with. If you go with an artist, you will still want to do simple mock ups of the kind of imagery that you want to use.
Once you figure out the kind of story and kind of images you want, then it comes to putting it all together. Draft after draft. You start out with the simple sketches and rough words in your story board and make them a bit bigger, a bit more polished. Then the draft where it is closer to the finished size you want, and then add in the colour to the pictures. Trying different colour schemes or placements for the images. Then printing a copy. That is when you get excited but also a little disappointed (in my experience). Everyone always says you are your own worst critic. And I believe that. I saw my book printed and all I could see were the flaws. That is when I decided to try harder.
For me, I wrote and illustrated my book. I got input from others along the way, but the final product on the page is all my own doing. No one else to push blame on. So instead of coming up with an excuse and do what is easy, I worked on the writing, and then redrew and altered each page slightly. It was hard. The way I sit to draw doesn't help my back, but I will do what I need to to make my dream happen. Now the final stage that I have to do is the colouring.
But here. A look at the cover before I colour it.
I know I may never be successful in the is career path, but I know one thing for sure. I want to give my nieces and nephews books that have meaning. I want to show them that trying for a dream is not silly, as long as you know it will be hard and are willing to face each obstacle as they come, you will achieve your dream. Maybe not the way you were hoping or expecting, but definitely in a way that means something.
" It ain't about how hard you're hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!" - Rocky Rocky Balboa
Thursday 25 June 2015
On the Mend and around the Bend
So all those promises of documenting my recovery kind of fell through. But I think I am where I am meant to be now.
It took a long time to get to here, but I think it has been worth it. I have been off work since New Years and a lot of that time was spent doing absolutely nothing. I slept on a floor for two months in my living room, and then moved to the floor in my bed room and finally back into my own bed. Little steps, and a lot of pain (and pain killers) later, and I can finally see the path in the woods again. I am not out of the woods yet, and there may be some more obstacles thrown at me, but I am learning not to bend and break from the changes thrown at me. I may be the same to some extent but I have also changed over the past six months. Who wouldn't? I learned a lot about myself, things both good and bad. I loved being able to help my sister Martha while she took part and ran head first into one of the dreams she has been working towards her entire life. She did amazing as the Commander of her crew, and I enjoyed the random favours and tasks they asked me for. I might not have been able to fulfill all of them, but I did my best. I am both sad and glad that I have my Saturday's back to myself. I mean staying up late isn't all that it's cracked up to be. But even more that getting to sleep normal hours, I am overly excited to see Martha again in a few weeks for the first time in nearly 10 months (by the time she comes here). So proud of her and so honoured to be able to call her my sister and friend.
Not working, and only having doctor appointments to really keep me busy, I got a lot of time on my hands. So obviously I spent a lot of it on the computer, and in doing so, discovered some amazing motivational Twitch streamers. I know some of you will think watching someone play a video game for a living is ridiculous, but it has been some peoples dreams for a long time. Seeing someone risk a good paying job to pursue something like playing video games to make a living and support a family, does seem almost ludicrous. But giving up on your dream, and being miserable is just as insane. So to see someone with so much heart and positiveness in the face of so much potential negative backlash, is truly inspirational. I don't think I would have ever finished my book if it hadn't been for them and there mantra of if you believe and dream it, you can achieve it. And I still have things I want to alter with my book, but heck! I have never finished a story before like this. And my sister Susan did the amazing thing of printing a couple copies of it in actual book form! It is the most amazing feeling to see my name on the cover of the little book, and to see my words and drawings in a form that my nieces and nephews can hold and enjoy. I may not want to be a mom, but I would like to be an out of this world aunt.
And I guess the final topic I should touch on is work. So I never did get to return to work, but I think it may be for the best. I would have wanted to push myself as hard as I did in the past, and that would have been a whole lot of bad news. I officially handed in my resignation at the beginning of this month, and have started looking for other forms of employment that is more suited to my new reality. It was a hard decision to make, since I have been through so much with my work family. But I know it is for the best for my health, and for my future.
I won't make promises this time of updating in any specific time frame, but I will finish with another quote that I rediscovered recently and love wholeheartedly.
"We've done the impossible, and that makes us mighty." Malcolm Reynolds Firefly
It took a long time to get to here, but I think it has been worth it. I have been off work since New Years and a lot of that time was spent doing absolutely nothing. I slept on a floor for two months in my living room, and then moved to the floor in my bed room and finally back into my own bed. Little steps, and a lot of pain (and pain killers) later, and I can finally see the path in the woods again. I am not out of the woods yet, and there may be some more obstacles thrown at me, but I am learning not to bend and break from the changes thrown at me. I may be the same to some extent but I have also changed over the past six months. Who wouldn't? I learned a lot about myself, things both good and bad. I loved being able to help my sister Martha while she took part and ran head first into one of the dreams she has been working towards her entire life. She did amazing as the Commander of her crew, and I enjoyed the random favours and tasks they asked me for. I might not have been able to fulfill all of them, but I did my best. I am both sad and glad that I have my Saturday's back to myself. I mean staying up late isn't all that it's cracked up to be. But even more that getting to sleep normal hours, I am overly excited to see Martha again in a few weeks for the first time in nearly 10 months (by the time she comes here). So proud of her and so honoured to be able to call her my sister and friend.
Not working, and only having doctor appointments to really keep me busy, I got a lot of time on my hands. So obviously I spent a lot of it on the computer, and in doing so, discovered some amazing motivational Twitch streamers. I know some of you will think watching someone play a video game for a living is ridiculous, but it has been some peoples dreams for a long time. Seeing someone risk a good paying job to pursue something like playing video games to make a living and support a family, does seem almost ludicrous. But giving up on your dream, and being miserable is just as insane. So to see someone with so much heart and positiveness in the face of so much potential negative backlash, is truly inspirational. I don't think I would have ever finished my book if it hadn't been for them and there mantra of if you believe and dream it, you can achieve it. And I still have things I want to alter with my book, but heck! I have never finished a story before like this. And my sister Susan did the amazing thing of printing a couple copies of it in actual book form! It is the most amazing feeling to see my name on the cover of the little book, and to see my words and drawings in a form that my nieces and nephews can hold and enjoy. I may not want to be a mom, but I would like to be an out of this world aunt.
And I guess the final topic I should touch on is work. So I never did get to return to work, but I think it may be for the best. I would have wanted to push myself as hard as I did in the past, and that would have been a whole lot of bad news. I officially handed in my resignation at the beginning of this month, and have started looking for other forms of employment that is more suited to my new reality. It was a hard decision to make, since I have been through so much with my work family. But I know it is for the best for my health, and for my future.
I won't make promises this time of updating in any specific time frame, but I will finish with another quote that I rediscovered recently and love wholeheartedly.
"We've done the impossible, and that makes us mighty." Malcolm Reynolds Firefly
Saturday 21 March 2015
Keeping busy
The past week or so I have been keeping in good spirits and doing what I can to get better. So daily exercises and stretches have progressed a little more, which is great. I feel a bit stronger every day, although I still have pain in my hip and leg from the bulges pushing on nerves. But it will get there. I just have to keep believing, as nearly everyone in my life keeps reminding me. I like the reminders, because it is really easy to fall into a downward slump. They keep me going when I feel like I will never get better. And they make me laugh when I want to cry. So thank you to the people who care enough to tell me what I need to hear and not always what I want to hear.
In other news, I have finished both the story board, and the first rough draft of my children's book and have the first page of the second draft done. I also got one of my nephews to read the rough draft. He is nearly 12 (one week until his birthday) and this past week had March break. I got him for a day to help me run errands (he carried everything for me). So he read it, with only a little difficulty due to my penmanship (I am blaming the pencil smudging), and actually liked it. He also thinks that his little sister would love it! So positive feed back already has really boosted my attitude towards writing and drawing this book. It would be awesome to have it published one day, but even if I only end up finishing it and making a couple copies for family or friends, I think it will be worth it.
"Boy, I got vision, and the rest of the world wears bifocals." Butch Cassidy Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
In other news, I have finished both the story board, and the first rough draft of my children's book and have the first page of the second draft done. I also got one of my nephews to read the rough draft. He is nearly 12 (one week until his birthday) and this past week had March break. I got him for a day to help me run errands (he carried everything for me). So he read it, with only a little difficulty due to my penmanship (I am blaming the pencil smudging), and actually liked it. He also thinks that his little sister would love it! So positive feed back already has really boosted my attitude towards writing and drawing this book. It would be awesome to have it published one day, but even if I only end up finishing it and making a couple copies for family or friends, I think it will be worth it.
"Boy, I got vision, and the rest of the world wears bifocals." Butch Cassidy Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
Friday 13 March 2015
And So It Continues
Physio and now physical rehab are starting to be my new norms. Last week was the first week with the physical rehab, and it pushed me to a point I hadn't been in a long time. I was glad for being pushed, but also worried about the pain that could come with it. But I am starting to deal with my mental weakness, while strengthening my physical weakness. Bought a couple tools to help with the process. A larger exercise ball to work on the core stabilization techniques, and strength training bands to work on the hips, legs, and core as well. I like the ball exercises. They seem simple and easy at first, but I feel it after the first few minutes pass. Which is good. It means that my body is still working and trying to improve. The squats are probably the hardest part for me. Since I grew up being a goalie for quite a few years (like a decade), my body has a predisposition to move in certain ways. My rehab coach I guess you would call him pointed out the flaws in how I was squatting today. He told me the way I was doing them made me look like a goalie, which I told him I was. He said that explained a lot then, and told me I would have to focus just that much more to do them properly.
Other than the exercises I do, I have a lot of free time on my hands right now. I spend it mostly listening to music, watching movies/TV shows, or just browsing the internet. BUT I decided since I have started to physically and mentally feel better, I would do something to help continue that good progress. So I started to draw one of the children's books that I have wanted to make for a long time. I am going to collaborate with one of my friends who I think is very talented with drawing and colouring to help me polish up the images and figure out a colour scheme to go with. I only started it yesterday, but I am happy with how I have progressed with it. Who knows, one day maybe my niece and nephews will have an aunt that writes stories that they read in school. That would be really cool. But that is also getting way a head of myself. First I have to finish the story.
"Weakness compels strength. Betrayal begets blood. This is the law of the Nine Clans." - Ozunu Ninja Assassin
Other than the exercises I do, I have a lot of free time on my hands right now. I spend it mostly listening to music, watching movies/TV shows, or just browsing the internet. BUT I decided since I have started to physically and mentally feel better, I would do something to help continue that good progress. So I started to draw one of the children's books that I have wanted to make for a long time. I am going to collaborate with one of my friends who I think is very talented with drawing and colouring to help me polish up the images and figure out a colour scheme to go with. I only started it yesterday, but I am happy with how I have progressed with it. Who knows, one day maybe my niece and nephews will have an aunt that writes stories that they read in school. That would be really cool. But that is also getting way a head of myself. First I have to finish the story.
"Weakness compels strength. Betrayal begets blood. This is the law of the Nine Clans." - Ozunu Ninja Assassin
Sunday 8 March 2015
Healing?
I have heard people say the phrases like 'No Pain No Gain' and 'Feel The Burn' when talking about working out and getting healthy. But then there is also two types of pain. The pain of tired muscles from a good work out, and the flip side is the pain of hurting your body from pushing too far. That is always the pain you want to avoid, but sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between the two. I had physio of Friday, and then a physical therapy appointment right after. So going from two months of very limited movements, and then to an hour of physical strain was quite a lot for me. And my body is telling me so. This morning after getting up and rinsing my face, my left side from my waist down kind of collapsed on itself. No real harm done. Icing it now, but it was scary seeing myself in the mirror nearly collapsing into the counter/sink, and see the fear in my own eyes.
So what do I learn from this? I learn that I need to take things a lot slower. I still have to push myself, but also have to listen to my body more. Maybe I shouldn't have sat in certain ways the day before, or made sure my leg was propped up better while I slept, or a whole slew of other little things. Literally every move I make now has to be thought out before I even make it or I could easily get worse again. Thankfully I trust fully in the people I am working with to get my strength back. But it will take time, which is the biggest pill to swallow. I'm not the patient type, so it is frustrating that my body won't heal fast. Just breath right?
"Death smiles at us all, but all a man can do is smile back." - Marcus Aurelius
So what do I learn from this? I learn that I need to take things a lot slower. I still have to push myself, but also have to listen to my body more. Maybe I shouldn't have sat in certain ways the day before, or made sure my leg was propped up better while I slept, or a whole slew of other little things. Literally every move I make now has to be thought out before I even make it or I could easily get worse again. Thankfully I trust fully in the people I am working with to get my strength back. But it will take time, which is the biggest pill to swallow. I'm not the patient type, so it is frustrating that my body won't heal fast. Just breath right?
"Death smiles at us all, but all a man can do is smile back." - Marcus Aurelius
Tuesday 3 March 2015
Back...
...Pain.
For those of you who follow my blog, but don't know me personally, I will catch you up on what my has been going on the past eight months or so.
Last summer I spent a month out west visiting my sister. While there, I ended up causing myself back issues. Being stubborn and thinking it would get better on its own, I didn't take time off from work, and I only went to my doctor about two months after it initially happened. Fast forward a month or two later, I had my first MRI which showed herniation on three of my lower discs. Christmas season at work ramps up, and my back grows steadily worse. I decide to take time off after Christmas to let my back get better. Within the first week I take off, my back worsens to the extent I end up in the emergency room twice in one day. First time was for the pain and spasming. The second time was the same, but I ended up going into a bit of shock from the pain, loss of hearing, blurred vision, hyperventilating. Thankfully my mom was there to catch me and get me back on the couch where I had just stood up from. Paramedics arrived and I got my first (and hopefully only) ride in an ambulance. A month or so after that, second MRI is taken, and shows that my slight herniation's are no longer just slight. Using a walker for a month or so, and a cane the past few weeks, I have started to make progress in the right direction. I have a back brace, but have been advised to only use it in situations like driving (which I have now been doing for the past two weeks to and from all my doctor and physio appointments), or lifting (which I can't attempt yet). As my physiotherapist says, I am progressing as slow as molasses, but it's still miles better then where I started.
So that is the basic gist of what has been happening in my life. My one sister thought it might be a good idea that I chronicle my journey of healing. I think it's a good idea, although I am kind of embarrassed to disclose things like how much weight or inches I lose while trying to get healthy in all aspects of my life. We will see how comfortable I am with it as time goes on.
My next post will probably be over the weekend, and I will discuss more about the exercises and stretches that I have been given to try and strengthen my core/back.
With that I will leave you with a quote from a movie I have watched this past week.
"If something should happen... maybe I never said this enough. I love all of you." Russell Hammond Almost Famous
For those of you who follow my blog, but don't know me personally, I will catch you up on what my has been going on the past eight months or so.
Last summer I spent a month out west visiting my sister. While there, I ended up causing myself back issues. Being stubborn and thinking it would get better on its own, I didn't take time off from work, and I only went to my doctor about two months after it initially happened. Fast forward a month or two later, I had my first MRI which showed herniation on three of my lower discs. Christmas season at work ramps up, and my back grows steadily worse. I decide to take time off after Christmas to let my back get better. Within the first week I take off, my back worsens to the extent I end up in the emergency room twice in one day. First time was for the pain and spasming. The second time was the same, but I ended up going into a bit of shock from the pain, loss of hearing, blurred vision, hyperventilating. Thankfully my mom was there to catch me and get me back on the couch where I had just stood up from. Paramedics arrived and I got my first (and hopefully only) ride in an ambulance. A month or so after that, second MRI is taken, and shows that my slight herniation's are no longer just slight. Using a walker for a month or so, and a cane the past few weeks, I have started to make progress in the right direction. I have a back brace, but have been advised to only use it in situations like driving (which I have now been doing for the past two weeks to and from all my doctor and physio appointments), or lifting (which I can't attempt yet). As my physiotherapist says, I am progressing as slow as molasses, but it's still miles better then where I started.
So that is the basic gist of what has been happening in my life. My one sister thought it might be a good idea that I chronicle my journey of healing. I think it's a good idea, although I am kind of embarrassed to disclose things like how much weight or inches I lose while trying to get healthy in all aspects of my life. We will see how comfortable I am with it as time goes on.
My next post will probably be over the weekend, and I will discuss more about the exercises and stretches that I have been given to try and strengthen my core/back.
With that I will leave you with a quote from a movie I have watched this past week.
"If something should happen... maybe I never said this enough. I love all of you." Russell Hammond Almost Famous
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