So all those promises of documenting my recovery kind of fell through. But I think I am where I am meant to be now.
It took a long time to get to here, but I think it has been worth it. I have been off work since New Years and a lot of that time was spent doing absolutely nothing. I slept on a floor for two months in my living room, and then moved to the floor in my bed room and finally back into my own bed. Little steps, and a lot of pain (and pain killers) later, and I can finally see the path in the woods again. I am not out of the woods yet, and there may be some more obstacles thrown at me, but I am learning not to bend and break from the changes thrown at me. I may be the same to some extent but I have also changed over the past six months. Who wouldn't? I learned a lot about myself, things both good and bad. I loved being able to help my sister Martha while she took part and ran head first into one of the dreams she has been working towards her entire life. She did amazing as the Commander of her crew, and I enjoyed the random favours and tasks they asked me for. I might not have been able to fulfill all of them, but I did my best. I am both sad and glad that I have my Saturday's back to myself. I mean staying up late isn't all that it's cracked up to be. But even more that getting to sleep normal hours, I am overly excited to see Martha again in a few weeks for the first time in nearly 10 months (by the time she comes here). So proud of her and so honoured to be able to call her my sister and friend.
Not working, and only having doctor appointments to really keep me busy, I got a lot of time on my hands. So obviously I spent a lot of it on the computer, and in doing so, discovered some amazing motivational Twitch streamers. I know some of you will think watching someone play a video game for a living is ridiculous, but it has been some peoples dreams for a long time. Seeing someone risk a good paying job to pursue something like playing video games to make a living and support a family, does seem almost ludicrous. But giving up on your dream, and being miserable is just as insane. So to see someone with so much heart and positiveness in the face of so much potential negative backlash, is truly inspirational. I don't think I would have ever finished my book if it hadn't been for them and there mantra of if you believe and dream it, you can achieve it. And I still have things I want to alter with my book, but heck! I have never finished a story before like this. And my sister Susan did the amazing thing of printing a couple copies of it in actual book form! It is the most amazing feeling to see my name on the cover of the little book, and to see my words and drawings in a form that my nieces and nephews can hold and enjoy. I may not want to be a mom, but I would like to be an out of this world aunt.
And I guess the final topic I should touch on is work. So I never did get to return to work, but I think it may be for the best. I would have wanted to push myself as hard as I did in the past, and that would have been a whole lot of bad news. I officially handed in my resignation at the beginning of this month, and have started looking for other forms of employment that is more suited to my new reality. It was a hard decision to make, since I have been through so much with my work family. But I know it is for the best for my health, and for my future.
I won't make promises this time of updating in any specific time frame, but I will finish with another quote that I rediscovered recently and love wholeheartedly.
"We've done the impossible, and that makes us mighty." Malcolm Reynolds Firefly
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